


The Boyfriend

by Suteruben



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boyfriends, Crack, F/M, Humor, Meeting the Parents, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7763338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suteruben/pseuds/Suteruben
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Trafalgar Law were your boyfriend? What if things had finally gotten serious enough between you two that your family insisted on meeting him? What would your parents think of him? What would they say? Join Law as he confronts the toughest, most powerful opponent a man can possibly face...his girlfriend's overprotective father - A short, crackish, A/U, LawxOC story for fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introductions

"Can't you at least try to straighten up a little and quit slouching?"

"Don't tell me what to do."

Looking at the man beside her as he slid his hands into his denim pockets in defiance, making every effort to look even _more_ casual now than before, she gave up and pressed the doorbell with a huff of annoyance.

Crossing her arms she waited patiently for the foreboding footsteps that she knew would approach the front door from the other side any second now.

"Don't look so anxious, it'll be fine. It's nothing I can't handle."

Glancing back at him as he curled a hand around her waist and rubbed it reassuringly, her frown eased a little at his small, humoured smile.

"I told you, my parents are kinda strict…and a little weird." She murmured as he pulled her closer to his side, eyeing her lips suggestively. "You need to take this more seriousl-"

Shoving him away abruptly she neatened out the hem of her top as she heard the characteristically heavy footfall she knew all too well nearing the door.

Watching it yank open forcefully she wore her sweetest smile, ignoring Law's glare as he rebalanced himself on the edge of the doorstep she'd nearly pushed him clean off of.

"Daddy!"

"Heeey, my little boo-boo-bear!" The large man exclaimed, his stern expression melting at the sight of her as he embraced her in a tight hug.

Returning his warm welcome, she glanced at Law as his eyebrows rose and he looked at her in amusement, answering his smirk with a very clear 'don't you even _think_ about ever repeating that pet name' on her face.

Wiping that expression off as her father pulled away she smiled cheerfully up at him again before he turned his gaze to look at Law.

"So this is him, huh?" His voice void of every saccharine tone that had just been in it when addressing his little girl.

"Yeah. Dad, I'd like you to meet Law. Law, dad." She introduced brightly, motioning between the two men in turn with her hand.

There was a moment of silent pause as her father openly looked at the man on his doorstep top-to-toe. From his laid back stance, to his boots, to his spotted denim, to the shirt he wore – the top buttons undone and his chest tattoos as obvious as the ones on his forearms and hands, to the facial hair, to the lazy smirk, to the piercings in both his ears and to the ridiculous-looking, unseasonable hat atop his head.

Clearing his throat, Law decided, for his girlfriend's sake, to try to be amicable with the man and extended his hand politely. "You must be Mr-"

Watching as the man tugged his daughter over the threshold by her arm, he blinked in surprise as the door was promptly slammed shut in his face.

"Daddy!"

"No way."

"What did you do that for? Poor Law!"

"'Poor Law' my ass, what is _wrong_ with you?!"

"Me?! You're the one-!"

Narrowing his eyes at the white paint of the wood as he heard the muffled arguing continue behind it, Law shoved his hands back into his pockets with a frown, watching as the door was wrenched back open.

"-covered in tattoos. Did you bring home a gangster or what?" The man's loud grouching rang crystal clear through the open doorway from behind her as she reappeared.

"Daddy!"

"Or is he just a street thug?" Her father pressed on, unashamed to voice his opinion in front of the man in question as he locked eyes with him, causing Law's frown to deepen.

"That's so rude! Stop it! I'm so sorry, sweetheart." She apologised, drawing Law's gaze back to her from the heated glaring contest he was having with her father as she pulled one of his hands out of his pocket with both of hers and ignored the snort her father gave at the way she addressed him.

"Yeah, he looks like a real 'sweetheart.'" The man muttered past the thick bristle of his moustache, leaning his elbow against the doorframe and easily returning the glower Law raised his eyes back up to give him.

"Well appearances can be deceiving. Weren't _you_ the one that taught me not to judge a book by its cover?" She reproached, tugging Law in with her.

"…Do it just this once." Her father mumbled, stepping aside grudgingly as he heard the hurried footsteps of his wife getting louder from behind him.

"Dad!" She scolded, pulling Law in past him and tutting as both men stared each other down in obvious disdain.

"What's all the commotion about?"

Looking up the stairs she gratefully spotted her mother coming down them rapidly and sighed in relief. "Nothing mom, just dad-"

"Being your dad?" Her mother finished, coming to a stop on the stairs and resting her hands to her hips as she narrowed her eyes at her husband.

"Yeah." She confirmed, joining her mother in her accusatory stare at him, causing him to sigh in defeat as he shoved the door shut with a harsh slam, clearly unhappy.

Making her way down the rest of the stairs with a shake of her head, her mother walked over to them. "Don't be rude to our guests, _especially_ not on the doorstep where everyone can hear you! What will the neighbours think of us? And how many times do we have to-…Oh my."

Coming to stop, she glanced up at Law as he peeled his piercing gaze off of the man staring at him from the doorway and turned to look at her. "So this is Law, is it?"

"Yeah. Mom, Law. Law, mom." She introduced.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Law. Our daughter's told us so much about you." Her mother politely greeted, holding her hand out and smiling up at him as his expression softened and he took it. "…Including how handsome you are…though I thought she was exaggerating…"

Brow rising as their handshake came to an end and the woman still held onto him, Law slid his gaze over to his girlfriend unsurely as her mother continued to stare up at him somewhat dreamily.

"Mom..." She watched in annoyance as her mother's gaze seemed to trace over the bare, tattooed muscle of his exposed upper chest. "Mom!"

"Oh! Oh my." Clearing her throat in embarrassment the woman released Law's hand and took a step back, avoiding her husband's gaze altogether. "A-Anyway, I've made us all a lovely brisket to enjoy tonight so I do hope you like roast beef, Law. I'll go get the last of dinner finished so please, do make yourself at home in the meantime. Right this way." She motioned to the open archway of the living room in gesture.

"Yeah…thanks." He replied levelly, watching the woman scurry off down the hallway to what he assumed was the kitchen.

Feeling a push to his shoulder, he turned to glare at the woman's husband as he roughly shoved past with a displeased tut and walked into the living room ahead of them.

Frowning at the man's back as he watched him disappear, Law's attention was brought back to his girlfriend as he saw her cross her arms expectantly beside him, looking up at him with a displeased expression of her own.

"What?" He asked quietly in annoyance, only getting more irritated when she gave him a 'you know what you did' look before making her way towards the living room as well. "What?!" He asked more loudly.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't flirt with my _mother_ right in front of me in future, Law."

"Wha-?! I-! Oi! _She_ held onto _me_!" He hissed after her in aggravation, watching as she glowered at him silently over her shoulder before disappearing into the room after her father.

Sighing in frustration, he tilted his head back, ran a hand over his face and closed his eyes. "…This is going to be a long night." He muttered to himself and the uncaring ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idea vaguely inspired by the conversation in chapter 58 of my other story; "A Brush With Death," made me start to wonder what it might really be like to bring home a guy like Law.


	2. Idle chit-chat

Watching the swinging pendulum of the clock on the wall as its 'ticks' and 'tocks' echoed loudly within the silent living room, Law noted with a sigh how little time had passed and how long was still left to go.

"So."

Peeling his gaze off of the horrifically slow-moving sands of time to the older man sitting on the sofa across from him, he attempted a neutral gaze, certain that any show of annoyance or open dislike on his part would only spur the man's behaviour further.

"How did you and my little girl meet, exactly?"

"Daddy, I told you. We me-"

"I'm asking him, boo-bear." He cut off, leaning forward, hands on his lap, his sugared tone dropping once more as soon as he turned back to Law again. "He _can_ talk, can't he?"

Finding the corner of his mouth lifting at the open taunt, Law reclined more comfortably as he crossed his long legs. Refusing to match the man's body language, pace or show the aggravation wanted of him.

"I met her at work." He answered simply.

"Mhmm, she _says_ you're a doctor…" He muttered in obvious disbelief, looking him up and down in critical assessment. "…but I don't buy it."

"Dad, we've been over this. He was _in_ the hospital, in a white coat, the other doctors knew who he was. He _is_ a doctor."

"Then our hospitals and medical system has gone to shit for hiring someone like him. Doesn't look like any doctor _I've_ ever seen, covered in tattoos and all – do your patients appreciate those words on your knuckles, 'Doctor' Trafalgar?"

"They appreciate my knowledge and skill. You could simply ask your daughter that question." Law answered smoothly, looking at his girlfriend on the seat beside him.

Looking between them as they shared a small, secretive smile, the gruff father rolled his eyes in disgust. "Silly klutz, I told ya you were too young to move out. How you managed to stick yourself prying frozen burgers apart is beyond me." The man grumbled.

"Actually, accidental hand injury trying to divide frozen foods with a sharp utensil is one of the most common injuries seen in the emergency department. Especially during barbecue season in the summer." Law stated factually, sparing his girlfriend an amused grin, though her father didn't appreciate it or the snippet of medical trivia.

"See? It could have happened to anyone." She said, puffing her cheeks defiantly in her defence.

"Badly enough to need the, so called, 'surgeon' on call to evaluate it?" He retorted, emphasising his disbelieving pronunciation of Law's occupation with air quotes.

"I was worried about scarring so they called him for his opinion…"

"Exactly what I just said. Badly enough to need a surgeon to come look at it."

"…I'm not moving back home." She sighed, tiring of the same old argument and watching as her mother bustled into the room, a big smile on her face as she carried a tray of drinks.

"Eighteen is too young to be out on your own. You can't even make a damn meal without ending up in hospital for crying out loud." He sighed back, equally tired of the repetitive conversation with his stubborn daughter and frowning as his wife made a beeline for their 'guest' first. "You should just move back home. See what being on your own and being a klutz caused? Attracting a bunch of creeps?" He questioned, gesturing to Law with a rude, dismissive hand.

"Daddy! He's not a creep! He's an amazing and very kind man! He sutured my hand himself, even though he didn't have to - _just_ because I was worried I'd be left with an ugly scar. He did such a wonderful job too, you can hardly see it." She defended, proudly holding up her palm in illustration as Law unsurely took a glass from the tray, avoiding eye contact with the beaming woman that offered it to him.

"Yeah, I'm sure he stayed behind and stitched it for you personally, whilst being on call, when any other doctor in the emergency department could have done it for you _just_ because he took your worry about having a scar to heart…Had nothing to do with how pretty my little girl is, right, 'Doctor?'" He asked, drawing Law's attention back to him with a mild frown.

"Dad." She said in a low tone, taking a highball glass for herself as her mother offered it to her.

"…Bet you were wearing one of those damn low cut tops of yours again." He muttered, watching his wife make her way over to him, finally.

"Daddy!"

Paying his daughter's offended outburst no mind, he turned his attention back to Law. "So tell me, 'Doctor,' how often _do_ you date your patients? Hmm? They allow that kinda behaviour at the hospital you work at? Been thinking of giving them or the medical licensing board a call to check and ask." The man said casually, ignoring the glare his wife gave him as he took his own drink.

Suppressing the slight twitch beneath his eye as his temper rose at the blunt threat, Law took a deep breath to settle himself as his girlfriend sighed heavily beside him with a facepalm. "Actually, you'll find it's perfectly acceptable for doctors to date _former_ patients." He explained calmly.

"Is that right…Guess I'll just be calling to verify you're licensed at all then." The man shot back nonchalantly, enjoying the visible twitch beneath Law's eye as he took a sip of his drink.

"John! How rude! Enough's enough!" His wife snapped, resting her free hand to her hip as she lowered her empty tray.

"Dad, please…"

Taking in his wife's displeasure and his daughter's saddened expression and pleading tone he sighed as he rest back in his seat. "…Alright boo-bear, I'll try to give him a chance." He relented.

"That's better." His wife said softly, rubbing his arm in encouragement with a smile before turning to her daughter. "Come on dear, let's give the men a chance to get to know each other a little better. I could use a hand in the kitchen anyway." She winked at her.

"Oh, yeah. Sure, mom." Ignoring the unsubtle look in Law's eyes that very clearly told her _not_ to leave him alone with her father; she smiled sweetly at him, giving him a reassuring peck on the cheek before getting up and following her mother out of the room.

Closing his eyes with a barely contained sigh as they disappeared around the doorframe, Law reluctantly looked back at the man on the sofa opposite him, trying hard to minimise his grimace.

…

"So, what do you want with my daughter?" The man asked bluntly, swirling the root beer around the ice cubes in his glass.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"…I don't really understand the nature of your question." Law answered cautiously, narrowing his eyes at the man.

"And here I thought doctors were supposed to be smart." He, John, scoffed. "How old are you, son?"

Running his tongue over his teeth inside his mouth as he bit back the urge to tell the man not to refer to him in that way, Law leant back casually in his seat once more, trying not to let his girlfriend's father get under his skin. "I'm sure she's already told you how old I am."

"What's so difficult about answering my questions directly? You got something to hide?"

Law could already see where this conversation was headed but answered confidently all the same. "Twenty-six."

"Mhmm and she's eighteen."

"Your point being, 'sir?'" Pleased at the sour look on the man's face at his mock politeness, Law took a sip of his own refreshment.

"My point being, she's barely left the house, barely gotten on her own feet, barely decided what she wants to do with her life…and she's _barely_ legal."

Unsurprised by the sinister-sounding turn of the conversation as he'd foreseen it coming, Law remained quiet; there was no question to be answered. Instead he chose to take another sip of his drink, deciding he wasn't willing to rise to what he supposed was a legitimate concern for a loving parent to have.

…

"You like 'em young, doc?"

Spluttering the fluid in his mouth, Law looked at the man in honest shock of the blunt accusation.

"Just set the table so you two can go on through – oh, and Mom's asking if you guys would rather have wine or whisk-…What happened to you?"

Looking over at his girlfriend as she peered around the doorframe, smile fading a little in her curiosity as she took in the spilt drink on his shirt, Law regained his composure, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he glared at her father.

"Nothing, your boyfriend's just a little clumsy. Steady surgeon hands and all." John replied dryly, getting up from his seat with a hefty huff and giving Law a victorious little smile past his thick moustache as he made his way out of the room.

Frowning at him, Law used the napkin that had been wrapped around his glass to dab the spilt drink on his shirt as he got up as well, walking over to the doorway and coming to a stop beside his girlfriend as she looked up at him in silent question of what had _really_ gone on.

Waiting until her father had left ear shot and entered the open dining room ahead, he glanced down at her. "Definitely the whiskey." He muttered, before reluctantly trailing after the man.


	3. A delightful dinner

"Whooo wants brisket?" The mother sang cheerfully as she entered the dining room, either oblivious to or ignoring the silent tension amongst its occupants as she set the large platter she was carrying down onto the centre of the table, Law wasn't sure which.

"Looks great, mom."

Glancing at his girlfriend as she forced a smile from her seat beside him, Law sighed inwardly, hoping the rest of the evening would pass by uneventfully.

"Doesn't it just?" The older lady gushed proudly, removing the oven mitts she'd used to carry the hot dish in safely and picking up the carving utensils lying beside the admittedly tasty-looking meat. "Would our guest like to do the honours? I'd just _love_ to see those skilled surgeon hands of yours at work." She cooed, holding them out to him.

Brow arching at her offer, Law wondered if anything…'untoward' had just been implied, and judging by the intensified gazes he could feel on him from both his girlfriend and her father all of a sudden, he wasn't the only one.

"Just 'cause he's a supposed 'surgeon' doesn't mean he can slice it up properly. Here, let me do it." The father grumbled, standing from his seat and taking them with an irritated look his wife's way for even thinking to offer _his_ job to someone else.

Brushing it off with ease, the woman took her seat and tucked herself in with a wide smile as John began slicing the steaming beef in front of them. "So Law, dear, where are you from?"

"I grew up a little way away from here, up North." He answered, relieved to finally be interacting with the more normal of his girlfriend's parents...but given the woman's earlier behaviour with him, she wasn't more normal by far.

"Oh, that's lovely. There's such beautiful snowfall up North, isn't there dear? Remember that wonderful Christmas vacation we took up there?" Getting nothing but a grunt of acknowledgement from her husband as he began portioning out the slices of meat amongst their plates – Law decidedly last he noticed, the lady pressed on. "And what about your parents? Do they still live up there? Do you go visit them often?"

Feeling his girlfriend tense beside him, he ignored it, knowing that she had probably already told them not to ask about his family situation at some point but that it may have slipped their minds. "Actually, my family passed away when I was young. Though I still travel up North regularly to visit their resting place." He answered levelly, surprised to find John pause briefly in laying the food on his plate to give him a look that was almost, almost sympathetic for a moment there.

"Oh…Oh my, I'm so sorry to hear that." The lady apologised, mortified that she had asked.

"It happened a long time ago now." Law dismissed, not wanting her, or more importantly his girlfriend, to feel too bad about the topic being brought up.

"Oh, please, do dig in and help yourselves. The potatoes turned out especially nicely today and there's gravy too." The mother smiled, pointing out the large, china sauce boat on the table beside him.

Feeling a small nudge to his side, he glanced at the reassuring smile his girlfriend gave him that told him it _would_ be fine to help himself.

Reaching for the serving bowl of roasted potatoes a little unsurely, he pulled the large spoon out of it as the woman spoke up again, beginning to plate her and her husband's dishes with vegetables. "So, what kind of surgeon are you?"

Pleased to hear the mundane, routine questions he _had_ been dreading having to slog through before meeting 'John,' Law gratefully decided that this was definitely the much better alternative to having to deal with the man's line of questioning instead.

"Cardiothoracic." He answered simply.

"Why don't ya just say heart surgeon?" John briskly cut in, watching Law pause in placing food on his daughter's plate at the implication that he was trying to sound haughty.

"…Because cardiothoracic surgeons don't _only_ operate on hearts." He explained bluntly, trying to refrain from glaring at the man as he placed some potatoes onto his own plate as well and set the bowl back down onto the table.

"How fascinating, you must be very bright! Smart _and_ handsome, aren't you just the lucky one dear?" The mother exclaimed, clasping her now free hands together and beaming proudly at her daughter.

"Yeah, very." She agreed, squeezing Law's hand gently on his lap beneath the table with a wide smile at him that he couldn't help but reluctantly return.

"So, how many kids will you two have?"

It dropped immediately as he whipped his head back around to the woman across the table. "...Excuse me?" He decided to ask, hoping he'd misheard her but he knew he hadn't...He could hope though, right?

"How many children are you two going to have? Three? Four? I always did say three and a dog is the perfect family unit, right dear?" She asked, turning to her husband who appeared bored at the unsubtle hint he received.

"We aren't having another." He denied, obviously sick of the topic.

"Oh, poo." The mother flapped her hand dismissively at him, turning back to Law. "So how many dear?"

Turning his gaze slowly to his girlfriend for help, he found her blushing heavily behind the hand on her face, avoiding his eye contact. "Um...We've never discussed it." He answered cautiously, not wanting to commit to an incorrect answer either way.

"Then what are you with my daughter for, exactly?" John challenged once more, stopping his pouring of gravy onto his plate to place his harsh, analytical stare on Law.

"...I don't know what that has to do wi-"

"If you aren't thinking of marrying her or having kids with her, then what the hell _are_ you thinking of exactly, hmm? You just getting what you want until you get bored and move on? You wasting her time, boy?"

"Dad!"

"See, this is _exactly_ why we tried to raise you _not_ to have sex before marriage."

"WOW! Enough! Is it too much to ask to just have a _normal_ conversation over dinner?! - Both of you! " She snapped in horror, tacking on the latter as she saw her mother moving to say something.

…

Hearing the front door slam open and shut harshly in the thick silence that hung in the air, Law turned towards the doorway as they heard heavily booted footsteps and the muffled sound of loudly blaring music approaching, thankful for the distraction from this unending nightmare.

"Yo, just here to pick up some stuff an-..." The young woman, one he recognised to be the younger sister of his girlfriend from photos, stopped mid-stride in the doorway as she glanced in and spotted them, lifting one of the thick pads of her headphones off of her ear. "...Oh that's right, you guys are having dinner tonight...So, you're Lisa's new squeeze, huh?" She asked, eyeing Law critically from the doorway.

He didn't like the way she was looking at him, or the small, cheeky smirk that was spreading on her face. Apparently, neither did his girlfriend.

"Yeah, now why don't you run along to that little thing of yours that was _way_ more important than having dinner with us to meet my new 'squeeze.'" Lisa replied calmly, though her bitterness practically dripped from every word and her narrowed eyes were an open warning...

"Nah, smells good. I think I'll stay."

...That her little sister openly ignored, pushing back her headphones to rest around her neck as she walked in, eyes still on Law.

"Becky…" His girlfriend growled lowly in her throat as she passed straight by her and helped herself to the empty seat on Law's other side.

"Yeah?" She asked, dropping her rucksack heavily onto the dining room floor beside her chair.

"Didn't you say you were going out to a party tonight with your _boyfriend_?" Lisa bit out, watching as her little sister cosied up to Law, wrapping her arms around his.

"Nah, we broke up." She replied nonchalantly, smiling up at the shocked man.

"What? When?!"

"About five seconds ago." She sighed, staring up at Law dreamily and tightening her hold on his arm as he tried to slide it out of her grip.

Groaning aloud, Law didn't attempt to conceal the swear he uttered under his breath as he leant his elbow to the table and rubbed his face with his free hand.


End file.
